alone

https://lifeontheephemeralplane.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/12-fondu-au-noir.m4a

Well I’m back at Duke. And again I’m spending my weekend in my room working – inefficiently. This weekend I have to stay in to do consulting stuff, but the last two weekends…

My friends were too busy for me.

And… that hurts. And I’m already sick of it all over again. Just like before. I just don’t get why people my age don’t get that texting works both ways, that I shouldn’t always be the one that picks up the phone and makes things happen.

It fucking pisses me off. It makes me doubt my friends.

But I know they care. They are just part of the most selfish generation in history (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2257715/Study-shows-college-students-think-theyre-special–read-write-barely-study.html#axzz2Ji5E8uWC). It’s just so damn annoying to walk across campus and bump into people like crazy, have great conversations, and feel like everyone is my friend, only to then get home and receive 0 text messages all night… And it’s not like I don’t send any. Today alone I called 5 people and only one texted back saying why she couldn’t answer and what was up.

I’m friends with ghosts. And I hate ghosts.

I love being back at Duke in principle, but the reality is less rosy.

Because the sad truth is… when I make time for people people, they rarely do the same.

But that’s not to discount my friends, I love them so much. I just hate being back in the same rut of not in an SLG = no friends on the weekends. I don’t know what to do about it, but it’s really fucking depressing.

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